I was cleaning in the basement yesterday and found a newspaper clipping from our community newspaper that I really liked the first time I read it so kept it. I don't have the date on it, but it is old enough that the paper is yellowing! I read it again yesterday and thought "I have to share this on my blog!" They say laughter is the best medicine, so here it is:
Raising kids a piece of cake? Not even for God
Whenever your children are out of control, take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said was "DON'T!" "Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit ," God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit?? Hey Eve! We have forbidden fruit!!!!!!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break, and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh!" replied Adam.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said.
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
Now, if you have persistently and lovingly tried to follow His example and give your children wisdom, and they won't take it, don't be too hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
Things to think about
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat, word for word, what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproof our homes, but they are still getting in.
Advice for the day
Be nice to your children, they are the ones who will pick your nursing home.
And finally, if you have a lot of tension and get a headache, follow the advice on the Aspirin Bottle: take two tablets and keep away from children.
You've got to admit, there's a lot of truth there!